so john broke it off and i am truely heart broken....i cant belive he'd do that but if thats what makes him happy then fine....all i really want is for him to be happy even tho he thinks i'm selish....
so i'm sitting here w/ john and he is doing something werid w/ his lip on my arm (john: i'm licking you w/ my bottom lip.) he is makeing fun of me...yes he is...(no i'm not) stop it....(no) and to answer your questons we arent stoned...but we were....yesterday.....he is shakeing like a dog... (i was scratching my ear) ummm ok.....so zack got back from whales...and he is all happy and shit...he wouldnt shut up about it...and yeah *looks a john (am i hitting you w/ my hair )he is head banging i think....u cant be sure w/ him....dude we so dyed his hair again last night..he looks hot....but he is mine ladies...and the eye liner makes him look hotter....dude....his soon to be step mom was so drunk the other night....it was so funny...he is makeing fun of me again...(MAN I AM NOT WHAT THE HELL!fuck it) O_o ..... o_O ..... -.-what are u doing *looks a john* (head bobing at u) uh..ok....thats nice...he keeps changeing the song (OOOHHH this is trippy...) where was this last night...he is doing it again -.- *looks at his... (i'm doing it COOL now man)..if thats what u call cool....this is makeing my head feel funny...*kisses john then looks away*( MAN U STOP KISSIN ME WHAT THE HELL?!) sorry.....(this is so trippy) he put the media player up so we can watch it while we listen to the song...i'm so typeing while looking at it...so yeah i'm done now later everyone (GOODBYE EVERYONE I LOVE U ALL...well i really dont but OH well)
well things sure have changed...your not going to hear me talk about him getting stoned u get to hear about ME getting stoned! i smoked w/ john tow days in a row...the 2nd day we did like 3 bowls and i was all kinds of fucked up.....when i was tripping i thought i was a fucking sea saw and i thought i was danceing in the middle of a media player....come to think of it everytrhing that happend happend in the middle of a media player...like my dreams and everything....but then the next day we find out the chris tould john's dad that we were high...now i really dont think that john's dad likes me but this really must of iced the cake (btw we made a cake)...so he yellled at me and tould me that is we ever get high again and he finds out about he he'll call my dad...so yeah more later
well he did what i thought.....well knew he was going to do....he went to aaron's last night....and he got high..john that is...not like there is anyother he anymore....i guess some people never change...he promied that he'd stop..and he did....for a while....but aaron....one of my best friends got him to do it...i guess old habbits never die....now if it wasnt for anthony i wouldnt care....but after what he did....i mean...how can i not care...who even knows if that really happend or if it was just a lie...all i know is that he got high before he tould me that...i could tell...his typein was different...now i have some thinking to do...i thought...that i was in love w/ john..maybe i was wrong...i know he feels bad about it....and fhe says that if i was there that he wouldnt of done it...and if what he needs is for me to be there..and he cant not do it on his own....then thats....bad....he tells me that he has alot of will power and i guess he does...but i think not to somethings...weed being one of them...and i'm not mad....i'm dissapointed...and the more i try not to...the more...i comepaire him to anthony....he says he trys not to be like anthony...well guess what...he is...in alot of ways....he is takeing a shower right now and i'm at his place once again....but i'm starting to think that i should go home...just to clear my head....i dont know.....i'm so overwheld w/ thoughts....
i started summer school the teacher is a bich she is pissed about everything.....i also met 2 girls..nikki a 15 year old girl from cali she is here for the summer and she might be moveing here...and then nicol a 15 year old girl w/ a baby...yeah i know that sounds bad but she isnt a slut...tho now they are both very horny people like 24/7 so i guess i fit right in. wed. we went to the movies w/ jill and joey....that was fun but the move was stupid and we were like 40 mins late.....we didnt miss much tho...i'm at john's so u can call me but i'm not normally at my place but when i am i'll get back to u...
